Wheaties = We Eaties - Breakfast of Champions - Holy Trinity

My Holy Trinity : AuDHD, OCD, Cluster C

I have been negotiating with food, sleep, and movement for my entire life.

That negotiation has been in direct conflict with my AuDHD and OCD.

I became a fat child when physical abuse entered my world. It started with my mother and her wooden spoon aptly named Mr. Wood.

She carried this spoon in her purse and took no issue with using it in the grocery store or anytime I acted up.

Abuse started the moment my teeth came in. The moment I could bite my mother’s nipple while she fed me I transformed into an evil baby monster that needed to be kept in line, and this gave her and others permission to hit me when I was out of line.

This isn’t singular in Black families, it’s also tied to a bunch of religious ignorance, about sin and god. When in truth it’s a new human, with a new tool - teeth, and they are giving them a test run.

Mama’s nipple just happens to be the first thing placed in your mouth. It’s that simple.

Over the last 2 years I have begun the process of actually raising myself and accommodating my neurodivergence in the way that my parents could and would not.

Fungi have played the biggest part of that journey in helping me sort through the madness of my mind.

I never realized that waking up to an onslaught of obsessive and compulsive thoughts wasn’t the standard.

My mother nonchalantly did not deal with her OCD, and so my assumption was that it was happening to us all.

I was wrong.

If I mapped out all the directions that my mind twists and turns in a day folx would be left in a maze of confusion and fear.

There are rows and rows of corn to get lost in within my mind. Some of them make all the sense and others are rooted in irrationality and imagination.

For most of my life I have never been able

able to stop them. I was able to dull them some via alcohol but they usually came back louder and more fierce, after a time.

My mother believed she could just turn the record off, and she would often tell me to

do the same, by repeating bible verses that were rooted in shame, fear, and unknowing.

“For god has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a “sound” mind”

I repeated that stupid verse over and over and over again. It never stopped my OCD, and sometimes started a new track of obsession and compulsion that caused more harm.

This year for the first time ever that I have been able to wake up, and the record hasn’t automatically been spinning through the night.

This in part to Fungi, the biggest part, and the other due to a complete over haul of how I care for myself.

No longer consumptive self care but a deep knowing and discernment that results in a care of self that supports my mind, body, and spirit full up.

Food is no longer negotiable and my gut care is always in circulation.

Mental health starts in the gut, I recognized that before I ever even had an inkling of my neurodivergence. It’s how I have managed depression and CPTSD.

Keeping my gut clear, so that it is communicating at premium levels with my spicy brain has always been key.

This first started with quitting alcohol and doing and gut reset that took about a year.

That process includes prebiotic, probiotics, collagen, colostrum, vitamin d, b vitamins, high fiber diet, other vitamins, and meeting hydration needs daily.

My human design chart also helps me with this. Human design for me is a way to gauge your energetic flow via qi.  It is the electrical map and energetic flow of your body through specific emotional centers that we all have which are connected to the chakras.

It specifically speaks to your digestion as well.

My digestion is on the left which means I benefit from schedule and planning, and eating on a regular schedule every day.

This is tricky because if my persistent need for autonomy (PDA) via my expression of Autism.

I do love schedules but my system can often buck at them if it is a means of control, even if that control is leading to desirable outcomes for

my brain and body.

This is the delicate balance that comes with having a neurodivergent brain.

Breakfast is the one scheduled meal that I cannot negotiate around. It is truly the meal that sets up the building blocks for the rest of my day.

If I miss breakfast or eat something light, like a simple piece of fruit. It is a guarantee that for the remainder of the day I will struggle with OCD thoughts, the likelihood of meltdown or shut down due to external triggers also increases immensely.

Breakfast needs to be heavy, heavy, and by that I mean weighted in my stomach, not necessarily heavy on calories. A full bowl of oatmeal (half bran/half oats), with fruits and nuts, is usually what my brain needs to start without obsession. and usually between 5-7am. Any later and my OCD is already progressing. The oatmeal literally gives my brain something to feed on that isn’t itself.

Processed foods are also a no go. If I want it, I can eat it, but I need to be able to make it myself from scratch.

This includes everything from bread to potato chips to cupcakes.  I also have nothing white in my pantry. So all white flour, sugar, anything bleached when it comes to food is a no go.  My body needs whole grains and whole foods to work through in support of my brain.

Physical movement is also another non negotiable, even if I am only able to manage a 30 minute walk or a quick 20 minute dance routine via my fitness app, I need to get into my body and sweat, everyday. 

Do I always make it everyday? No, but on those days I have an expectation of needing to access different tools to control my thought life.

This has been a process for me working through burnout and also making sure I am not tipping into disordered watching and fatphobia.

This summer into winter 2025 I have settled into consistent praxis that feels good and that in am

hoping to remain engaged in with the grace that life be lifeing and sometimes everything needs to stop temporarily for perspective.

Sleep is the final non negotiable. I have to have 7-8 hours of sleep.  Sleep is still the one place where I struggle without the help of plant wellness. I am using cannabis (RSO) and magnesium for sleep nightly. I cannot afford what I would need for sleep every night so my goal is usually 4 nights of 8 hours sleep a week, with other nights hitting around 4-5 hours.

I would love to hear from my neurodivergent hom(e)ies ways in which you have been able maneuver healing and a deeper care of yourself and your mind.

Let me know if any of this resonates with you.