Reintroducing the Em(bodi)ment Dia(gram) here, you can also peep my previous post of the diagram to get a deeper understanding of how tings have evolved as I move deeper into my embodied praxis.
While I am not speaking directly to every aspect of the diagram, you should know that I have engaged each aspect of this diagram and do it daily in order to help with staying regulated.
I have benefited from shifting into a mode where the body leads more often than not as a means to better understand my energetic flow and how it engages with the world and others around me.
Below is an example of understanding my flow as it pertains to my tropical astrological themes of the last two years.
Sidereal astrology is the foundation I have used to slow myself down and pull myself out of tropical programming. However, tropical is how the west still operates and understanding how I am being sped into oblivion is key to the permanent slow down via intention and care.
2024 tings
In order to have Courage what do you truly Desire?
How do you separate and understand Desire as the deepest depths of creation and not the binary obsession with hypersexuality and that being the only?
Connection with yourself and others requires relinquishing of Control
Focus requires a bespoke understanding of how my Curry (neurodivergent mind) cooks and the ingredients it needs to be supported as a result.
Ingredients require Wata and are made up of water. Focus requires an understanding of my unique Flow and Movement and the sustenance needed to sustain.
Healing in its most effective realm requires Flow. A relinquishing of self to the Watas. You have to learn to become comfortable with the different states in which your body of Wata can exist and how to best support yourself in those ever changing states.
How do I channel and adjust Flow when Moving within different states?
How does the river flow into the ocean, which is then squeezed into feather weight clouds that rain down nourishing precipitous goodness, only to begin again?
2025 tings
Who I am and how I express myself and how that manifests and is perceived due to my neurodivergence means I am often viewed as a Disruption. I make folx super uncomfortable and people move quickly to dispose of me when they realize they cannot manipulate me.
My ability to Disrupt is also a gift that I am learning to accept and working on honing in a way that feels aligned. In taking the time to Heal and fully embrace my neurodivergence has been the recognition that I have a discernment around others that precedes me. This year I will be working to become more synonymous with my Disruption.
I see the word Win and I immediately wince. The pandemic signaled big change in my life and there have been big wins, but the bad always outweighs the good. Fighting homelessness in 2023 and now looking back at 2024, I am exhausted. Yet within that exhaust, work was done and I can see how the work of 2024 is building up for some major Wins in 2024.
However, I wouldn’t be my neurodivergent self though if I did not say I am being cautious AF around this one.
Winning is not something that a lot of people want to see me do and I have watched and experienced first hand via very serious harm I have engaged over my lifetime but most intensely over the last 4 years as my worldview has shifted.
I do not sit in a space of optimism and I don’t wanna hear nada about afro pessimism. In order for me to maneuver the world with even an inkling of fortified belief means I have to be able to build Trust. First with myself and then with others, a very few others if I am being honest. We don’t live in a good world.
I do not have Trust, the ways in which I have been engaged and harmed from family and beyond, distrust makes complete sense.
I recognize that I cannot live my life in this state of freeze. I am workin on it and to know more work is coming makes sense. Do I like it? Hell no, I do not.
I am in my Nurture era. My late diagnosis alone and moving through extreme autistic burnout, has meant I have had to learn to Nurture me in all the ways that my parents and family could and would not.
It is hard and exhausting and I stay in a state of suspended bitterness for the purpose of parents. With every layer of self I have pulled back and discovered, I can no longer deny what my body Desires in order to stay regulated. I will continue to allow the body to lead and let my over intellectualizing brain take a back seat.
At the end of 2024 I found myself in a new level of awareness around my mentally mad state, after being utterly consistent with my healing and unmasking praxis since 2022. There is a quiet in my mind I have never known and I am voracious in my need to sustain.
I can indeed Heal and I can control those symptoms that place me in dysregulation with intention and careful restructuring and curating of my very wild neurodivergent life. Just know imma keep living life on my terms, on the other side of, where my imagination builds all I need to survive and to thrive.
The above writings to 2024 and 2025 contain my astrological themes, specifically pulled from Chani. They are the underline and italicized words. The Bold words are my themes for 2024 which flow into 2025. There ain’t no colonial lines over here, no matter what the yt man’s year says. Flow ultimately resets for me in the spring which is the New Year.
2024 was the first time via my Human Design that all of my centers were defined. Going into 2025 my head and my heart center are undefined. This means I have to be careful where the desires, ideas and the emotions of others become my own (head). My natal chart, I was born with my head center open so this is a lifetime fight for me. I often take on the emotions and ideas of others subconsciously.
With my heart center being undefined the only person I can make promises to in 2025 is myself. Hasty decisions are a no and I need to refer back to myself, my heart, and my needs first. I was groomed to center the care of others before myself. So this is always tender work to know it is okay to keep it between me and me.
The remaining deep dive of this post will be behind a paywall. You will see how weave the themes above into 2024 an Ending and a Beginning. The Review. With a bunch of questions for how to engage and embody praxis for your unique flow.
Please consider subscribing to Bespokecurry. There are a few options for subscription and if you are BIPOC and have been engaging in my work consistently, I do have a code for free access.
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